“I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual” by Luvvie Ajayi Book Discussion Questions

  1. How do you think the author’s Nigerian and affluent background plays a role in how she views the issues (feminism, racist, relationships, social media, fame seeking behaviors, etc…) discussed in this book?
  2. The author discusses many different types of terrible friends, what do you think is the worst type of friend that she described? Do you think you have been any of these types of friends at one point in your life?
  3. The author discusses how being “A-Dick-ed” will have some people accept terrible and embarrassing behavior. What are you willing to accept for good sex? What is the most outrageous thing you did or accepted because your partner was excellent in bed?
  4. What is the meaning of the phrase “Ride or Die” to you? How loyal are you in a relationship?
  5. The author states that it seems that women are more likely than men to be expected to “Ride or Die” for their partner. Do you agree with her that this is a sexist standard?
  6. The author describes how the media portrays plus-size women and men differently as it relates to their weight on TV and in films. According to her, plus-size men are more likely to attract a really hot women (synonymous with skinny), whereas plus-size women are less likely to play similar characters on TV and in films. Do you think the media’s depiction of these types of relationships reflect real-life or is this another example of how the media is pushing a sexist agenda?
  7. Are group dinners the worst type of party to be invited to? What are your pet peeves about group dinners? Describe your worst group dinner experience.
  8. In the second part of the book the author discusses racism, feminism, rape cultural, and homophobia and emphasizes that it is the job of the majorities in that group to change the stigma of those that are oppressed. Do you agree with her stance on those issues? To what extent do you think it is the responsibility of the oppressed people in each group to fight for equality?
  9. The author defines feminism “as advocacy for women to have political, social, and economic equality.” Do you agree or disagree with this definition? Are there any exceptions that you think should apply when it comes to feminism? For example, do you believe that women should always take the last name of their husbands or do you believe that women should be “submissive” to their husbands?
  10. The concept of women being “submissive” to their men can be taken too far as discussed by the author. How would you define “submissive” in this context? Do you think that men should be “submissive” to their women?
  11. In the third part of the book, the author discusses a number of her pet peeves for how people interact on social media. What is your biggest pet peeve about how people engage on social media? Have you lost any friends based on their social media profiles?
  12. In the last part of the book, the author discusses fame. What do you think are the pros and cons about “Microwave Fame?”
  13. If you knew that you would become a superstar like Kim Kardashian, would you make a sex tape? Why or why not?
  14. How do you think Reality TV affects the social identity of the individuals? Do you think there are any benefits to viewing Reality TV? Explain why or why not.
  15. If you wrote this book, what are some topics that you would have included that the author did not? What are some topics that you would have excluded? Explain your reasoning.

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